Only Me

This cool contact lense case helps you track when it's time to dispose of contacts/order new ones.
I'm so putting this on my Christmas List.

Most nights I dread taking out my contacts. You see, I'm lazy when I'm tired, so even the smallest of tasks seem gigantic to me.


Last night was one such night.


I could not--for the life of me--get up from the bed and put my contacts in their nice little case with contact solution.


So, given my new found "NO is the NEW YES" philosophy, I said, "Forget it, I'm just throwing these bad boys on the ground. So there! I'll put them in the trash in the morning when I open up a new pair." (They last 2 weeks; disposable.)


And so I did. I chucked those babies on the shag carpet and fell sound asleep.


Now . . .


flash-forward 4.5 hours when I am getting up to start my day. (That's kind of a joke about how little I sleep. Only, it's not really a joke.)


As I reached in the bathroom drawer for my new box of contacts . . .


I came up EMPTY!


I didn't have any new contacts to put in--the box was EMPTY!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


E
M
P
T
Y


I was so mad at myself. Ugh. How could I have been so lazy?


Now I would have to be blind for the day . . . while my eye doctor ordered another box of contacts (of course my contacts aren't the kind in stock).


Ugh. "Woah is me, I thought."


UNLESS . . .


Maybe the old ones would still work?


Yes, that's it: maybe the old ones would still fit in my eye. (Unless I stepped on them OR one of the dogs ate them. Hmmm?)


I figured I had to give it a shot. I had nothing to lose.


So, I got down on my knees and fished around the shag carpet for my old contacts.


When I found them (which was a miracle), they were 1/8th of their normal size. They looked like little plastic chips. (Apparently contacts have to remain wet? Who knew?)


Well, that didn't stop me. I was desperate to see. And desperate times call for desperate measures.


At first I thought of just putting them in my eyes to see if 1/8th of a contact was better then no contact at all.


But then I remembered something from my Julia Child's cookbook. You can rehydrate dried onions. Maybe I could rehydrate my little contact chips?


That's it!


So I carefully placed the little contacts chips into some solution and said a prayer that they would grow like Sea Monkeys on an As Seen on TV infomercial.


And you know what?


THEY DID!


And I'm wearing them now.


I'm still laughing about the whole thing. This is SO ME.


Is that hilarious? (And probably gross/not super sanitary?)