Picture Day

October 22, 2014

At what age does it begin to happen?

When do we start finding fault with nearly every single detail of our beautiful selves?

I know there had to be a time when most of us were happy to find ourselves in a photo--no matter our appearance or expression.

Maybe it's shortly after preschool here in the US? Around age 5-6?

It's probably different for each person? Regardless of age, I am pretty certain this is a universal thing: eventually we ALL feel this intense criticism for ourselves.

How do I know?

Well, most of the Meehan kids received their school pictures this week (4 outta 5) ...

and every one of them--EVERY ONE OF THEM--refused to show us the photos.

One by one I had to literally plead for our kids to share their photos with me. And one by one they each selected the smallest wallet to show me.

And as I held this tiny picture in my hand, I found myself saying, "That picture is great. What don't you like about it? You have a beautiful smile, your hair is in place, etc."

I just couldn't SEE what could possibly be wrong with their photos. In my eyes NOTHING was wrong.

And yet "I get it." I get what it is like to be so critical of yourself.

As I scanned my own photos in the blog this morning I realized that I don't have many pictures of myself here. Part of this may be because I am usually the photographer. But if I am being truthful it's because I'm not always super happy with my own appearance and expression in photos, so I don't post them.

Doesn't that just seem wrong?

Here we are--this miracle of life, and have the nerve to find fault.

Rather than appreciate the incredible things we can do or see or say or be, we literally leave ourselves out of the picture.

It makes me think. And it makes me sad.

I mean, sure, some self-awareness is useful. You do want to grow and learn here on Planet E. And some of that is going to require some editing of behavior, etc.

But should we spend SO MUCH TIME worrying about how we look? Should we spend SO MUCH TIME comparing ourselves to others? Or longing for a different version of ourselves?

It's just nutty, I tell ya.

And wow does it seem so clear when you are thinking about it relative to your own small peeps.

I SO SO STRONGLY dislike our kids not loving their school photos. I want them to see the BEAUTY in every detail of their life.

I know, cheesy.

And I know, probably thinking too much.

These are the ABCs of me during the month of October of 2014.

Just to show ya my own internal dialog on this topic:
I originally looked at this photo and saw Beautiful Lu ... and then me with my Jay Leno chin and eyes NOT looking at the camera (Apparently Lu knows where the lens is on the iphone; I do not.)

Seems like I have my own fear of Picture Day to overcome.

*****

And now, truly beautiful photos of our family:

Bam and Zu at a new pizza place near our home. Our first time there.

Papaya, Jr., and Lu. PS: Boys eat more than girls in our family. Jr had 7 pieces!

Pumpkin Time.

Jr on the hunt.

Papaya on the hunt.

Best variety of pumpkins I've ever seen. All kinds of shapes and colors.

Every time I look at this photo I wanna knock myself out for not picking out this pumpkin.
I took the photo and decided I didn't need my own pumpkin. Hilarious. (Mom Martyr Syndrome)