Bill Conley: A Great Man

The family Kim and Bill built (from L to R):

Daughter Lindsay and her sweet husband, daughter Jamie (bride) and her sweet husband (groom), Bill and Kim, son Daniel, and daughter Megan and her sweet husband and daughter.
at the Salt Lake City Temple.

Our sweet friend--and a giant of a man/soul--passed away this Saturday after about 3 weeks in the hospital battling the return of leukemia and complications from pneumonia and a raging bacterial infection.

He was surrounded by the beautiful family he and Kim brought her to Planet E. And they are a beautiful family in every sense of the word.

I'll admit, I'm a faithful person. I believe our lives have purpose. I believe we are all connected to this incredible magical world for a reason. I believe life is eternal and that our spirit never dies. 

And yet, it hurts to see him leave earth so soon. Too soon, in my opinion.

And it hurts to know his incredible family will have to be physically without him for the time-being. He was just the incredible force and guide and leader in so many of our lives.

His presence will be missed.

But despite tears of sadness, I am left feeling super grateful to have known Bill. I am super grateful all of our family knows the Conleys. We are better people for having them in our lives. Their examples are beyond words.

I shared this yesterday on facebook, but I want to repost it here today, because for me--this journal of a blog will last much much longer than my facebook posts. And I want to make sure our family knows what Bill and Kim and their children have meant to us.

Bill, we love you. We've been so blessed by you. You fought this ugly disease with courage and grace. And I am so grateful your pain is gone and your spirit is released from the confinements of our silly bodies. FREE is the feeling I have as I think of your passing.

XOXOXO to a man Dave and I--and our kids--dearly love.

My repost from yesterday:

Dearest Kim and fam (warning: read when you have more time, no rush),

I could hardly sleep last night thinking about all that I FEEL right now.

I kinda mentioned this yesterday, but I just keep coming back to that scene in Steele Magnolias where Sally Field is in so much pain over her daughter's passing that she is kind of lamenting, "I just want someone to feel what I'm feeling ... to hurt." And then Field's friends volunteer "Wheezer" aka Shirley MacLane (sp?) to serve as the "tribute." It's something to the effect of, "Go ahead, hit Wheezer."

I truly mean this: I would volunteer to be "Wheezer" right now. I just don't want any hurt/sorrow for any of you right now.

And even though I know our earthly life is temporary--and I mean I know that deep down in my soul--I can't help but think, "this hurts."

So when I woke up this morning, I decided to do something about the hurt and share a couple of the experiences I hold dear about our family's connection and time with Bill on earth. I hope some make you laugh and I hope some show the love and honor it is to know your incredible husband, you and your family.

1. The first Sunday we were in Bill's Gospel Doctrine class in Carbon Canyon (as new members to the ward), he was sharing something dear to his heart. And he began choking. Well, I thought it was choking. And it went on for about 4-5 minutes before I thought, "Isn't someone going to help him? He's CHOKING." So I quickly ran to the kitchen, got a class of water, interrupted him in a big sacrament room full of classmates, and handed him the water. Clearly I'd just saved this man, a man I did not know. And when I say I did not know, what I mean is I DIDN'T KNOW HIS LOVE FOR THE GOSPEL was so strong that he would literally hold back tears by choking/coughing. And obviously everyone in the ward knew that--and so they didn't rush to his aid. This was just Brother Conley--a man who had a strong and profound testimony. Anyway, my favorite part of this whole thing is that Bill just took the water, thanked me, and took a drink. Totally never mentioned to me that I was completely wrong about his choking. (I think Kim Rhodes had to fill me in later. Ha!)

2. The day Jonah and Daniel were baptized cemented this special bond for Jonah to your family.
He cherishes that experience--that he shared his baptism with a family he deeply loves. And my favorite quote from Jonah that day, "Mom, when we dressed there was only one room ... so we saw each other in our boxers. We're like family now." (His 19 year old self is embarrassed by this, but I  that the 8 year old in him was thinking, "locker room = bonding.")

3. The two of you are perhaps the most generous people I know.
There are too many examples to list, but ANYTIME I am reluctant to be generous and find myself being self-centered, I think of you and Bill and do my best to put others first.

Some examples:

a. "Kim wants to know if you want an 'OLD' mattress and bunk bed we have and aren't going to use?" YES! *go to pick up OLD bunk bed and mattress--only to find a BRAND NEW mattress/plastic and all, and a Pottery Barn triple bunk bed in insanely brand new condition.* Uh-huh: OLD.

b. "Oh, you're having 4 teeth removed? That's totally normal, but just to keep you smiling, let us drive 45 minutes to see you before surgery and give you a set of pearly-white pearls."

c. "Dave, I'd like to offer you a job. And get you a suit ... just because (because those Dockers aren't workin'!)." *Dave naively wears his first TAILORED suit ... with tags on it to his first meeting in the new position.*

d. There are shared meals, life-lessons, TIME spent at church, time spent talking Mandy Patankin (sp?), and special Temple memories that we will hold as our most valuable and cherished life experiences with two people who are just sincerely GOOD HEARTS. I am so thankful for the blessing of living on earth at the same time as the Conleys (PS: I think I stole that line from someone. The on earth at the same time one. Plagiarism is probably something Bill would frown on, PS. Sorry Bill.).

4. Bill taught me to revere/adore family.
He adores his family (mom, sisters, you as his eternal companion, and children). I know life is not perfect, but my image of Bill will always be that HE ADORES FAMILY.

5. This is silly, but I love the image I have of Bill getting out of his gigantic truck, wearing a cowboy hat. That truck just cracked me up (from the Orem time-period.).

These are just a few of my thoughts ... and I don't think you have time to check facebook--but I wanted so much to tell you, your family, and Heaven: THANK YOU.

Thank you for the blessing of Bill.

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU all.

XOXOXOXO

PS: Remember, the Wheezer offer still stands. (I know, too soon for silly-ness. I'm silly when I'm sad and nervous. But I'm pretty sure you already know that. XOXOXO)

Bill Conley
(Taken last year, shortly after his bone marrow transplant--which Daniel, his son, served as donor.)