Forgiveness

Yesterday four of the cutest small people (ages 3-8) came to visit me at BYU--and take a picture with their "favorite Survivor." (Could you die? I did.) They were in town from Colorado for the Thanksgiving holiday . . . and so they came by meet ME (and Jimmer!).


Anyway, they were such cute kids. And they had a lot of questions for me.  BUT, one of their questions really got me thinking:

They wanted to know "if I was still friends with other players in the game?"

In other words, had forgiven other players for things they'd said or actions they'd taken in the game? (Specifically, Cochran. Tee hee.)

Deep, no?


I thought so. 


And while I wanted to answer and say, "Here's how I feel about player X or player Y," I couldn't . . . because of the contract we have with CBS not to talk about production/game/post-game while we are still in the game (And I'm still in it--even on Redemption Island. Don't forget.).


So here's how I replied:


"Survivor is great because it makes you THINK about these really tough life questions. As you watch the players, you get to think about what YOU would do in a similar situation:


--How do you handle it when someone hurts you?

--WHY do people hurt each other? (For financial gain? Ego? Fame? Accidentally?)

--Do people have to earn forgiveness?

--Can we forgive, but not forget? Is that "good enough"?

--What if someone REALLY hurts you--is it okay not to forgive them?

--If I forgive, won't that person keep hurting me/others?

--Does being tired, hungry, lonely make it okay to hurt other people?

--Does being tired, hungry, lonely make it okay to NOT forgive people?

--and on and on.


This is why I love Survivor:

It makes you THINK about how you live your life in society.

And I think one way we grow and improve is by wrestling with these issues.


To some people it's just TV--and Reality TV at that--but I think Survivor is so much more.


So, would YOU still be friends with players in the game? That's the question we all have to answer."

Thanks, E and B--so good to meet you.

****

PS:

Because I have forgiveness on my mind today, I thought I'd end today's post with one of my favorite author's comments about forgiveness:

Why We Forgive

by Wayne Dyer

[formatting/emphasis mine]

I was having dinner with my friend Ram Dass not long ago and talking about forgiveness, a subject I’m studying for my new book. He leaned over and said to me, “Wayne, I’ve never believed that it’s up to us to forgive anyone. That is not our role.” 


Let this profound statement sink in and think about how it might apply to your own experience. 


First, we have to face the notion that in order to consider forgiving someone we must have been blaming them for something. We must have anger, resentment, blame, even hatred going on in order to feel the need to forgive. 


Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around. We can do this letting go without even encountering the person we want to forgive. 


It was one act of profound forgiveness toward my own father, whom I never saw or talked to, that turned my life around from one of ordinary awareness to one of higher consciousness, achievement, and success beyond anything I had ever dared to imagine.


We forgive by releasing all resentment, anger, and bitterness and thus set ourselves free from the negative feelings that weaken us. 


First we have to get past blame. Then we have to learn to send love to all.... Meet hatred with love.


Taking all the anger and hatred that is standing in your way and replacing it with love is the most healing thing you can do. 


Fill your soul with love, rather than anger and so many things will change in your life. 


None of us needs revenge, but we all need love. It is all we really have to give away. [You] have the power to heal . . . .

****

I love that statement.

Now, let the healing BEGIN. 

(Movie reference, sorry, I couldn't resist. Sometimes I use humor to balance my drama. 
Oh, who am I kidding: most of the time I use humor to balance my drama.)

Until manana. Have a great day.