Repost: Is Long-Lasting Change Possible?
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| Prochaska and DiClemente's Stages of Change (UCLA professors) |
I've been thinking a lot about change lately. (I blame today's existentialism on the weather.)
I'm not talking about the kind of change that happens TO you (like illness, divorce, natural dissaster, job changes, etc.).
I'm talking about the kind of change YOU create/cause to come about (diet, exercise, perspective, habits . . . ).
So today I'm wondering, "Is change possible?"
I have such conflicting thoughts on this topic.
One part of me remembers a Maya Angelou comment, "When people show you who they are, believe them." (I think Oprah told me that one afternoon, so it may not be Dr. Angelou's comment. LOL!)
Anyway . . .
That comment makes me think: people don't change.
My second thought is the Bible scripture that says basically "With God ALL things are possible."
Now that comment makes me think: people can change.
So which is it? Can we create lasting change or are we really hard-coded for certain behavior/actions?
Does it just "depend"--case by case, person by person?
I really want to know.
Because the more I think about it, the more I feel like maybe this topic/perspective actually shapes a lot of people's attitudes and relationships in life.
Because if I believe that I can change, but you don't believe I can change, then your interactions and evaluation of me MAY, in fact, curtail my change. You may influence me. I may believe you and stop believing in myself. (I mean "you," as a metaphor--not the "you" reading.)
Or, if I believe that I can change, BUT don't believe other people can change, then my relationships with others are going to be fairly stressful. Right? Won't I be cranky if I keep "circling the same mountain" with myself/others as we face THE SAME hard things in life over and over and over and over (you get the point).
So, I'm really going to chew on this one because my view/understanding of change is what compels me to do most of what I do in any given day. I mean it, most my internal thoughts and relationships are affected by the way I view this notion of change.
For example, I don't think we would have become foster parents if Dave and I didn't believe change was possible. (Because society's general view of foster care is really negative. We had to believe that we could CHANGE that view in our family.)
Or another example would be eating healthier. It's so hard for our family to change the way we eat, but I have to believe that even a small change or a temporary change is possible. If I don't believe that, then I'm going to resign to a life of "Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it. The tribe has spoken."
It seems so pessimistic.
Or is it realistic?
Both? None?
Oh, someone get me The User Manual.
* Today's entry was originally posted here February of 2010. And just to be funny, I thought I'd updatge this post with "A List of A Few Things I Have/Have Not Changed Since Feb. 2010":
A List of A Few
Things I Have/Have Not Changed
Since Feb. 2010
Have Changed
Hair color
Exercise routine (have had one for 10 months--this is a lifetime first)
Earring size
Family size (we legally adopted Jr and LuLu--woo hoo!)
Learning style (we are homeschooling . . . again)
Meditating schedule (I have one now)
Have Not Changed
Money management skills (and they weren't good to begin--lol!)
Laundry detergent (even though it DOESN'T clean our clothes)
Amount of animal products I consume (way too much meat in my diet)
Faith (still have it--phew)
Love of bread-baking (phew)
Love of laughter (phew)
