Warning: Cheesy Post Ahead

Kaya and Chase-the-Cat (in a red sweater that he hates).
OMGoodness that's funny. (Taken this morning.)

It's almost a month until my 40th birthday. And while that event doesn't seem all that monumental to me, I think turning 40 is kind of significant.

In a lot of ways, I feel like my whole life has been leading up to now. Maybe that has something to do with trying to be "present" and not think too much about the future or the past--so RIGHT NOW seems really exciting and important?

I don't know what it is?

But whatever it is, I don't remember ever feeling this kind of nervous energy about life before.

I don't mean a nervous energy in a negative sense (although if I do get hit by a bus tomorrow, you can all go back to this post and confirm that I had ESP--it just wasn't fine-tuned).

What I'm saying is, for the most part, I feel an excitment or joy or happiness now that I don't remember feeling much before.

And before you say, "Well, GOOD for YOU, Miss Fancy-Pants," let me clarify:

I'm not saying my life is perfect. I'm not saying that at all.

My life is far from perfect. I've got challenges, physical and emotional. I've got personal "issues." There are weeds in my yard. Cavities to fill. Dog's peeing on my carpet. A good stack of bills to pay.

BUT,

I'm joy-ful.

I really am.

Despite the garbage, I feel light and excited about life.

If I could put my feelings into pictures, here's what they'd look like:

Like a dolphin swimming so so so so so quickly through the water, just below the surface . . . and very shortly I'm going to just jump with all of my might through the surface into the air. And then I'll do some crazy flip, splash back down into the water, and swim along.

That's how I feel.

It's kind of exciting.

And PS: I realize this post is making me sound way Pollyanna. And I may just be feeling this way because the City of South Jordan accidentally dumped extra seratonin in our water supply, BUT . . . this blog is really a journal for me. Everyday I write, I write thinking, "one day, I won't feel this way, so I better record it."

And that's all I'm trying to do: keep a record of my life.

8)